BULLYING (Ragging)
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“17
out of 20 bully victims are left trumatised”
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BULLYING
“The word is not new to us
neither is it news to us, we know it, seen it and even experience it, but what
have we done about it? Do we actually plan on doing anything, or are we just
going to sit back and watch innocent kids pushed to the point of death?
{#suicideawareness}, are we gonna do something until our kids fall victim? Why
wait till the damage is done before acting, before speaking out
{#standagainstbullying}”
RAGGING
This basically involves tormenting freshmen at school, an
initiation process involving harassment. This word is mainly word is mainly
used in India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Sri, Lanka and Malaysia. It involves
existing students baiting or bullying new students. It often takes a malignant form
wherein the newcomers may be subjected to psychological or physical torture. {Source:
Wikipedia}.
Now on to
BULLYING. Bullying is the repeated, verbal, physical, social or psychological
aggressive behavior by a person or group directed towards a less powerful
person or group that is intended to cause harm, distress or fear. Bullying can
happen in diverse ways, verbal or written, sexual harassment, discrimination,
cyberbullying e.t.c. Bullying has a negative impact on everyone involved. Below
is a story {copied} that tells the impact of bullying on its victims.
“His Name Was Steven: A 13-Year-Old Victim of
Bullycide
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His name was Steven. He was 13
years old and six years ago, he hung himself in his bedroom closet after being
tormented by bullies. Last week, his father reached out to me after reading my
HuffPost article, “Bullying: The Really Big
Problem Behind the Really Big Problem” about
National Bullying Prevention Month and self-bullying. In a horrible twist of
irony, last week also marked the loss of another teen. 15-year-old Amanda Todd took her life after years of relentless bullying. Just last
month, she had uploaded a nine-minute video to YouTube entitled Amanda Todd’s Story: Struggling, Bullying, Suicide, Self-Harm. It’s a tragic reality that there have been so many
suicides attributed to bullying that we now have a word to describe it:
bullycide.
This is Steven’s story. The story
of a life that ended way too soon. It’s the story of Steven’s parents and the
unfathomable pain they have had to endure. It’s a story that hopes to honor
Steven, Amanda and all the other victims of senseless bullying while trying to
bring awareness and change to the greatest youth epidemic of our time.
It had been about a month since
Mike and Pam Urry, Steven’s parents, had become aware of the severity of the
bullying. They had met with school officials, filed police reports and had made
plans to remove Steven from his school. Mike says, “We just found out too late,
or maybe we didn’t act fast enough, I don’t know. The teachers and staff had no
plan, no procedure in place to identify and stop the abuse.”
It’s a story we hear all too often.
Tragically, many people knew what was going on, including many of Steven’s
fellow students. One of the bystanders wrote about her guilt and shame on her
blog:
We all knew what he went through. We knew who beat him
up. We knew who locked him in a cupboard. We knew who had held his head under
water in a sink. So why hadn’t we told anyone? We were stupid. And we expected
somebody else to do something about it. I wish I could apologize to Steven. No,
I never bullied him up front, but if you’re not part of the solution, you’re
part of the problem.
It was Steven’s mom who found him
after he had hung himself when she went to tell him to wash up for dinner. Mike
was at work and a police officer was sent to pick him up and take him to the
hospital. Not knowing what had happened, he was escorted to a private room and
“I instantly felt my blood run cold,” he said. Pam was hysterical, crying
convulsively and shaking her head violently as if to refuse what she was
hearing. Mike says, “It was a tidal wave of pain and panic. Our boy had taken
his own life. My son was gone. Our beautiful boy was just... gone.”
Mike says he spent that day in a
state of “massive emotional trauma.” He doesn’t remember very much of those
first few days, but what he does remember haunts him to this day. “It’s just
one long nightmare I keep having. Seeing my son in the morgue, on a slab,” he
says. “I can still see the ligature marks around his neck.” He can also still
recall with crystal clarity the scream Pam let out as she awoke the day after
Steven’s death and remembered what happened. It’s a horror no parent should
ever have to endure.
“Preparing our son’s funeral was
beyond surreal,” says Mike. Pam read her letter to Steven to the packed chapel.
“It was the most profoundly perfect and beautiful message from a mother to her
child we had ever heard.” Pam’s father had dug and prepared Steven’s grave and
Mike lowered the urn into the ground with his own hands. “My last act as
Steven’s father.”
It has been almost six years now
since they experienced the unthinkable act of burying their child, but
tragically, it’s stories like Amanda Todd’s from just last week that can
trigger an avalanche of emotion. “The power of these triggers to propel me
right back to the emotional moment of Steven’s death is overwhelming, like
nothing I’ve ever experienced,” says Mike. “It’s like the six years since never
happened, like it’s December 2006 all over again.”
In Part 2 of this story we’ll hear
how Steven’s parents endured the pain and grief after Steven’s death and how
the cruel act of their son’s bully has become their own personal trauma. We’ll
also hear how Mike has channeled his pain into an organization called His Name Was Steven to
help prevent other children and teens from suffering at the hands of bullies as
his son did and prevent other parents from experiencing the horror they have.
This is Steven’s story. But for
Steven, Amanda and all the other children and teens who have suffered, let’s
make it OUR story. Let’s make this a story to awaken us to the reality of this
great epidemic. Let’s make it a call and an outcry for change.”
Somehow, people think
bullying is a part of life, a part of growing up and an opportunity to stand up
for yourself. Some kids naturally will not accept being bullied, and will stand
against it. Others are not that brave and will crumble at it. They end up
feeling lonely, unhappy and frightened. It can make them lose confidence and
interest in school. These effects are also signs that kids may exhibit
when being abused by bullies.
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